Dolores Haze/ Seymour Glass

If ever there were a time when pedophilia could be described as beautiful, it would be because of Lolita, and for that I feel like there's something wrong with me.

So far, there exist two books that I've liked enough to actually read more than once: Lolita and The Bell Jar, and they're both pretty disturbing. I can't relate at all to either of them because I neither fetishize children nor have I ever tried to kill myself.

They're like Montel Williams for the generations before us that were still interested in reading n'shit. People have always gotten off to the unfortunate, to the ridiculous, bizarre, outlandish, inhumane, gross, bloody, disgusting, and and and and....

And so, I guess, do I.

I'd read Catcher in the Rye again, but I'm pretty sure that's not much better. A Separate Peace?

I remember reading J.D. Salinger's Nine Stories for English class my junior year in high school. Everyone thought the bananafish was some sort of innuendo (OF THE SEXUAL VARIETY) and I remember not even having caught that at all. 

But that was my favorite story of the nine, and although there's nothing sexual or bizarre about his interactions with the little girl at the beach, the guy shoots himself in the head at the end. PTSD, mes amis (JOHN HOLDUN IT RHYMES).

What's wrong with me? Or everyone--these are classics, right?

SART

So, today I've done a lot of nothing; actually that's not true at all. I woke up, did some makeshift yoga, went to the eye doctor and had a job interview (finally), and now I'm sitting at my desk in the ever-lovely West Chester, Ohio waiting on my mom to get home and make me dinner (ohhhhh, the perks of being home). I think the fact that I'm wearing sweatpants is the reason I feel like I've been largely unproductive today.

I wish that always worked--I could just throw on a Snuggie and feel like the maelstrom that is life is somehow nonexistent or distant, at least.

ANYWAY, the reason I decided to write today (after so, so long) is because of the most recent Sartorialist post, a style profile on stylist and contributing Teen Vogue fashion editor Aya T. Kanai. I had never heard of her before, really, but I think her style is incredible and what she has to say about it is even better. I'm a fan of throwing crazy, edgy, trendy, colorful, ridiculous, etc. things in with classics, and I think she does it particularly well, specifically with the floral combat boots (which I've been trying to find for ages now--turns out they don't make them for cheap assholes like myself) and the metallic dress.

But don't take my word for it, look for yourself: Aya, June 3, 2009. You'll have to scroll, I think. 

Also, I think I'm going to start writing more often. I neeeeeed it, I feel like any style I used to have is slowly going out the window and, because this is something I actually might want to do with my life, I should try to make amends with it before it ditches me completely.

BISES (this one's staying.)