Looking through my Facebook, it turns out I have a handful of friends that are getting married soon. Sure, I'm happy for them, but I just can't imagine why in the Hell anyone would ever want to get married.
It's been like three or four months since I first realized that love isn't really that much fun; it's probably one of the most difficult and ridiculous things I've ever been through. Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with the person who helped me along with that epiphany and I got to thinking--am I just the ridiculous one?
I feel like I'm lagging in the recovery process even though I've been working out and taking my vitamins, going to school, pursuing new interests, et cetera, et cetera. So what am I doing wrong? If my life was a computer, I'd trash the three years leading up to 2009 and then maybe search around online for a new 2005-2008 download that involves a little more traveling, a little more maturity, some time spent getting well-read, and some good, honest advice on this whole love/relationship thing.
I want to just know everything without doing the work for it, especially when it comes to all of this emotional bullshit I've been going through lately. Just tell me what the sentiments should be and I'll go through the motions, but I'm not very interested in acutally knowing what they feel like.
But I am still alive and loved
and wide-eyed in my time
not a mummy stinking in its cloths
your cat clawed out my eyes
while I was distracted by your smile
and now my sockets sit like empty catchers' mits waiting
and you ask me is there anybody else that I'm dating.
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